Sunday, May 22
sometimes my parents are so
closeminded it frustrates me to talk to them. my mother warned my father not to say anything controversial because i'm 'an impressionable girl'. okay, so you're gonna hide the world from me forever? too late, that time is past - my eyes are opening up now. i watch some self-professed christians act like non-believers. it's like being a teacher's daughter i guess. people look at you. look at the length of your skirt, your blouse, your hair, see if you've done your homework, if you study for tests, if you suck up to teachers. well. my mum says you shouldn't be looking at anyone anyway. which i find strange - if you don't look at others, where the hell do you look? you're supposed to learn from others.. right? but i never get to argue my point because she just glares at me and tells my dad to stop allowing such controversial talk. i should get away from here. it kinda stifles my creativity. not to mention it's kinda oppresive. why can't i question, why can't i say what i think? i'm not trying to be blasphemous on purpose. i want to know the answers, that's all.
i don't want to be just another person living and breathing. mere existence is a crime. but i can't think of what i want to do with my life. i can hear my sister talking downstairs. she sounds frustrated. oh now she's come up. telling me not to be so flippant and upset our conservative parents. all right all right i won't be a nun. sigh. my parents are boring. why can't they laugh and tell jokes and be wonderfully sarcastic and witty? sigh. boring. staid. gah.
it must've been love.
6:33 pm
xoxo
